working, painting with acrylic

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I like to work with acrylic technique, you can make an error, so to speak, and then paint over it again...but that is not a point...I try to work on image, after a photo, but can't make it. Here is the first version, redrawn, and it look to me that there is no way out to finish it. I started over and over on the same paper, but still I am far away from the original, speaking literally.



Le soleil est tombé en morceaux
Un parapluie est mort dans le caniveau
Un cycliste se fait traîner par son oiseau
L'orange lune flotte entre les sapins
Le ciel je s'est blessé en rêvant
Le café a pris froid des enfants
Jardins de croix château de sang

Un vent de fenêtre prêt à rugir
L'océan est parti sans rien dire
Le toit de la terre s'est énervé
Et les saisons applaudissent
Les musiciens dépravés
Et une dame en noir
Brandissant un coeur délavé

L'écume s'éteint sur la lisière
De tes hanches
Qu'effleure la peau sèche
Sur un matin blanc
Qu'effleure un matin sec
Sur ta peau blanche

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